those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
