Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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