those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize