i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i think i just lost a toe
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
