i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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