I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
