Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Boobs are out for the taking
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
