Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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