I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
