So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
