Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
