This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
