Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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