One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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