The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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