i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
