Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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