She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
