writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
