i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize