Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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