she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
