I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
