does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
