I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
