Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
