I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
he's single and there are thong briefs.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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