It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
