Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
