and she was petting her beer can
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I wear drunk well.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
