i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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