i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
