stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
