I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Randomize
