I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
