real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
