you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
