Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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