he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
