Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
