The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
