its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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