I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
