I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Randomize
