Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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