you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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