those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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