Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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