During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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