Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
