I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize