The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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