I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
