This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
