my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
