I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Houston, we have a blender
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
