We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize