Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
