Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
