dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
