If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
i believe in u and ur pee
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
