Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
