kristin has been a bad kristin
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
