Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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