my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
