Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
