There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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