with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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