if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
