I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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