So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
3 2 1 whiskey
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
