i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
