Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
that's an acceptable place to lick
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize