i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
