Are we in a gay sports bar?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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