people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
